1.at the bottom of the ocean

I read your letter again today
still trying to read between the lines
‘cos I just don’t know
what else to do with myself
but walk around the house
searching for the warning signs

I thought I was turning to kiss you
but I was only turning in my sleep
and the world is turning
away
away

and all the people
at the bottom of the ocean
with their lockets
and their pockets full of stones
they’re gonna open up their eyes
under the water
in synchronicity
and see whatever they will see

I thought I was turning to kiss you
but I was only turning in my sleep
and the world is turning
away
away
from me

2.emptiness

I was feeling empty
despite trophies and treasures aplenty
I went looking for something to fill me
to feel less hollow
it’s all in your mind it’s been said
so I started my search in my head
I found a memory I thought was long dead
she told me to follow

she led me outta the house
and down through the town
to an oceanside bar we both knew
and when she said
if you walk through that door
I’m gonna haunt you forever more
I had to wonder who was following who
who was following who

well I had my fill
but I was still feeling empty
so I let the bartender tempt me
into another whiskey
cheers and here’s to tomorrow
now I could no longer feel
if I was feeling empty
but in the mirror behind the bar
I still looked empty
so I let a stranger fill me
in on her sorrow

she told me about a boy
who had served and not returned
she told me he was one of a kind
she told me how it feels
to trade places with your shadow
and see the shadow falling behind
falling behind

conversations like all things must end
and I saw no space for me in her head
so I bid farwell to my fairweather friend
and I stepped out
and I hit the ground reeling
under the sun I no longer felt empty
no I felt the darkness
of another world within me
I went searching
for something to empty me
to set me free from this feeling

3.the jaws of life

daddy finally beat the bottle
jesus saved him from addiction
but the man my mother married
he got lost somewhere in the transition

the jaws of life
will come to cut me out

my brother’s eyes are fixed upon the pixels
my sister she just shaved off all her hair
and daddy waits for orders from the heavens
while mother she cries underwater tears

the jaws of life
will come to cut me out

I finally met the girl that I’d been dreaming of
she taught me you lose everything you steal
so I’ve been speeding with all my new friends
and crashing out at dawn
I’ve been letting go of the wheel

the jaws of life
will come to cut me out
but not this time
no
not this time
‘cos I will laugh at the dripping teeth
pull faces at the bleeding gums
till the jaws of life
turn and run

4.me and billy t.

on a night like any other night
feeding joy and despair
the bedtime prayers of little children
added to the air
and somewhere out there
billy t. lit up a cigarette
deep down he knew
this should really be the last one
but he didn’t want to face it

it is so hard
to give up
something you love

sleeping dogs are starting to stir
cat’s eyes all aglow now
the bedtime prayers
of the sick and the hungry
going somewhere nobody knows now
and billy t. had a joke
on the tip of his tongue
and a saxaphone solo in his head
and smoke filling up his lungs
and a very tired heart in his chest

it is so hard
to give up
something you love

and I wish that I’d never met you
that I’d never let you see me cry
you tell me you can live without me
well I’d like to see you make me try

5.nobility

pour the water
over the chamomile leaves
warm your hands on the cup
inhale the steam
raise it up to your lips
and drink the infusion down
and feel it
and follow it
flowing inside you

learning how to live
learning
how to live
in the lonely moment

let whatever thoughts
come knocking at your brain
stay as long as they will
and leave the way that they came
and wish them luck
in finding another vessel to fill
and feel it
and follow the emptiness
flowing inside you

learning how to give
learning
how to give in
to the lonely moment

6.please elvis

oh please elvis
don’t make my mamma cry
she just blew all the dust off
that old scratchy 45′
she won’t say when she first heard it
never tells me what it means
but I’ve seen what it does to her
and I know what that does to me

so please elvis
don’t make my mamma sad
don’t remind her of what’s gone for good
of what I never had
she won’t show me any photos
never tells me how they met
she just drops the needle down
and then the dust gets in her eyes again

and she’s swirling a brandy balloon
and she’s twirling
under the gaudy light in the living room
but the liqour always overblows
all the things that’ll never blow over
and I’m sick of picking her pieces up
and I’m tired of staying sober

so please elvis
a family will drive you wild
she’s just a fading satellite
and I’m a grown up only child
and if you make her cry away
another anniversay
you’ll be nothing but a hound dog
nothing but a hound dog
to me

7.the crossroads

first you will forget
how it feels to be chosen
then you will forget
how it feels to forgive
then you will forget
how it feels to feel
then you forget
what it is you’re forgetting

and then you’re at the crossroads
where anything could happen
twist of fate take a bow
and then you’re at the crossroads
the two headed crossroads
where anything could happen
hear heaven avow

as often as I push you
to the bottom of my mind
you find a way to rise up
to the surface
graceful as a shark fin
outta the blue
graceful as a shark fin circling

and they’re circling the crossroads
where anything could happen
twist of fate take a bow
then you’re back at the crossroads
the cryptic crossroads
where anything could happen
hear heaven avow

as often as I try
to get out of my mind
you find a way to drag me down
under the surface
effortless as undertow
back into the black
effortless as undertow swirling

down to the crossroads
where anything could happen
twist of fate take a bow
then you’re back at the crossroads
the insatiable crossroads
where anything could happen
and it could be right now

first you will forget how it feels
to be chosen
then you will forget how it feels
to forgive
then you will forget how it feels
to feel
then you’ll forget what it is
you’re forgetting

8.rise and shine

a crazy sorrow gathered in the sky
and the thunder shook itself
and everything flared up

i went out to the ocean to clear my mind
people come and go
feelings drag along behind

i wanted this to be my prison song
but i’ve had the keys to leave
i’ve had the keys to leave
i’ve had the keys
to leave
for so long

feelings come and go
feelings
come and go

10.my pearl

sun hangs low
in a sky orange and blue
blink of an eye
for a dream to die or come true
you’re my pearl
you’re not my pearl
ain’t that the way of the world
god still shines
god still shines
holograms on this shattered landscape
of mine

stars burn holes
in the curtains of a cardboard box
discounted ocean view
down by the docks
hope you find what you’re looking for
polishing his golden floors
dead of night
the city bells chime
always seems to sound like
the final time